Breakfast Buffet

In 2009 I had the amazing opportunity to have breakfast with my dad and grandpa every few weeks at a local diner. Dad and I would drive out to a small town near where Grandpa lived, about a half hour away. We picked him up and sat down for their Saturday breakfast buffet and bottomless coffee.  While it started out as bottomless coffee, Grandpa soon was on a liquid restriction diet, and even one cup was not good for him. See, his kidneys were failing as well as his eyesight and most of the rest of him. That will happen when you cross into your 90s. Grandpa ended up passing away in 2011, but it was these last meals with him that I hold dearest of all my memories of him.

And I have a few.

I grew up in a large family. Not that my immediate family was large but my extended family, Grandpa's 7 kids, 17 grandchildren, 27 great grandchildren and 4 great-great grandchildren  plus spouses, spouses families, close friends, church friends, cousins, etc. were all a part of my family growing up. Truth-be-told, I have never been able to remember half the names of the people who show up to our family gatherings. And at the center of it all, was always Grandpa. With a smile on his face, a positive word, and joy in his voice grandpa was there. We would take over the church basement for a reunion, and no house could contain us for any given holiday.

When I made it to high school and began participating in sports, there were two people I could count on to be there every baseball game, every cross-country meet, every track event: my dad, and Grandpa. Even with all that family, he would make the time to come see me run a 5K or play right field or attempt a long jump. Grandpa was there on the bleachers in the rain or the cold or the heat, cheering me on, letting me know I was important.

As a kid, my family would visit Grandpa and Grandma at their house in the country. It was an old house, the one my father grew up in. But it was everything a kid could want. They had a toy chest containing many of Dad's childhood toys in the upstairs bedroom that my brothers and I would empty and occupy ourselves with. Grandma would make a nice meal, Grandpa always had something awesome to show us. We would head out to his backyard and play in the trees, or pick apples from the crab apple tree to try to feed the neighbors horse, or if we were lucky, Grandpa would let us go through his garage to see what amazing tools and "junk" he had.

The breakfasts though were different. They were one of the first times I interacted with him as a grownup and as a dad. I heard stories of when my dad was young. He told tales of his time serving in the war. We talked about first cars and sports and summers past. We drank our bottomless coffee and I watched him innocently flirt with the waitress (Grandma passed away 20 years earlier, and he never remarried) who was younger than him, but not by much. After breakfast, we would head back to his place and talk about his coin collection, work still needing to be done on his house, the Cubs, his legacy or whatever else we might come up with any given day. These are the days I appreciate the most. This is the lasting memory I have of him. He was a great man, and a grat grandfather. This Father's Day, I am thankful to be able to call him my grandpa.

Stuff My Kids Say IV

Godzilla: Dad, Can I have another sandwich?
Me: I guess, are you still hungry?
Godzilla: No, Nat said she'd give me two quarters if I gave her the rest of my sandwich.
Me: So, you didn't eat your sandwich, and now you want to eat one?
Godzilla: (maniacally laughing) No, I want to see if I can get her to give me more MONEY!


I don't know where they get these ideas, but if he's this devious clever at 4, I think he has a long career in swindling marketing ahead of him

Foundations and Examples and the Man I am Today

We all have certain things in our lives that helped define us. Ultimately every day, every decision we make makes us who we are, but there are some events or periods of our lives that give us a foundation for the rest of it to build upon. How old were you when you realized what it meant to be a father? What were you doing when you decided to have children? What made you decide on the career path you are on? What about your music tastes, or humor or recreational activities?

So many of these things are set in place at a young age, influenced by your surroundings at home, school, church. If your dad for example plays the Beatles on the radio on the way to church on Sunday morning, you'll probably like good music, er, I mean rock 'n roll and the smell of ironing boards and aftershave. If you were encouraged to embrace who you are while trying to always make yourself better you will hold yourself to a higher standard and take pride in what you do.

For me, a child of the 80s, the things of influence in my youth are also things of the 80s. Now, I'm not still wearing "Hammer pants" or a mullet, nor am I walking around saying things like "radical", but I was influenced by them, and thus have a great appreciation for cartoons used to sell toys and hip hop sung by football teams. We could grab any year from my youth and find hundreds of influences that made me the man I am today. In 1989, the grass was green, the air was sweet, the Chicago Cubs were NL East champs. I had two parents who were involved, an older brother who I aspired to be like, and a little brother I got to be an example for (and push around a bit). I was confident in school. I knew how to get extra lives in Contra, and warp all the way to World 8 in Super Mario Bros. Life couldn't be better.

I had my parents to thank for the man I was becoming. My mom taught me about respect and how to tie my shoes. My dad gave me a love of sports and taught me how to build and fix things. They were there for me when I had trouble learning a new skill. They supported me as I found my voice and discovered my personality.

Dad knew he had a responsibility to his family.  He knew that he needed to work to earn money to support us, but he also knew he needed to be there physically to support us in many other ways. He worked endless hours at a steel mill, would come home and work on his "honey-do list" and then go out in the yard to have a catch with his three boys. He learned from watching his dad do the same things, and that dedication to my happiness and well-being is what carries me forward today. While I am more than just a dad, being a dad makes up a large part of what I do in my day-to-day life. If my dad could work 80 hour weeks and still make it to my baseball games, watch Star Wars with me, and introduce me to the Beatles on the way to Sunday services, I can be there for my kids. I can take that influence, that of a man who gives his all day-in and day-out and apply it to my family. I can look at 1989, and give it to my kids. I can give them the sports, the music in the car, the projects and the culture. The only thing I can't give them is the Cubs as champions. (maybe next year)

Thank you Dad for giving me that example.
Thank you for being there when I needed a man to look up to.
Thank you for showing me your strength.
Thank you for teaching me how to be a dad.

Summertime, and the Living is Easy (unless you're a parent)

So, summer is here, and I like to kick things off right. And by right, I mean by sleeping in. With kids at 8 and 4 I can trust them to eat unsupervised, and so I left bowls of cereal with "nametags" out and cups of milk to add to them in the fridge before going to bed last night.

This process has worked before, and they get a kick out of finding out what their nametag will be.

Not this morning.

At 6:30 (half an hour before we get up for school), Godzilla climbed in bed with me and proceeded to talk to me for the next 45 minutes about how his sister's friend's mom wouldn't stop tickling him at their Girl Scout party the night before. Then at 7:15, Nat came in needing help with a bloody nose and announced she had been up playing a game for about half an hour herself. Once this was all taken care of, they were both up and ready to start their day.

I gave myself about an hour to try and get back to sleep, but when the kids weren't calling my name, Twitter was . So naturally, no sleep came.

When the kids got out of school yesterday, we gave them a gift to congratulate them on a great year and to keep them busy this summer. It was a book called "The Big Book of Things to Make" and had been sitting in reserve since Christmas, just waiting for summer. I've since seen some other really cool books since picking this one up like: "Dad's Book of Awesome Projects" by Mike Adamick of "Cry it Out" blog fame, or "Made By Dad", either of which I would love to have as well.

Anyway, both kids were excited by the book and set to turning pages to decide which project they wanted to do first. They both quickly agreed on making slime, though my princess at first said she didn't want to touch it. And once that decision was made, this dad knew all his years of watching, playing with and imitating the Ninja Turtles had finally paid off. We grabbed some cold pizza and our ingredients and then set to work.

A little corn starch and some water go a long way. The best thing about having the book as a guide was the science lesson it provided with the directions. The slime didn't turn out like the traditional Nickelodeon Gak (you need school glue for that) but turns out runny and sticky and solid depending on its state.

The corn starch doesn't dissolve in the water, letting you change the slime's state as you stir or handle it. the kids were amazed by how they could swish it around their bowls, but couldn't even break the plane with their spoons. Once we had it all mixed up, we went outside and had the real fun.

Don't worry, it all cleans up with warm water. 

USP - Unscheduled Sleep Positions

While my son was good at taking naps, daily scheduled ones made bedtime a beast by the age of two. So now, we only nap when we fall down cause we just can't keep our eyes open any more. This may have been my favorite position of all time. Where is the best place your kids have had an unscheduled nap?

Anniversary Wishes

Ten years ago I couldn't comprehend ten years. I couldn't imagine being 32, a father of two-and-a-half, and in a job that keeps me working the nights I should have with my wife.

Ten years ago, I laid in bed not knowing what awaited me as a married man, not sure if I would be a good enough man for the woman I had fallen in love with. I knew so little of love, commitment and happiness.

Twenty-four hours later, I was married to my wife and was the happiest man alive. In the ten years that have followed, through our trials and triumphs I have remained that way: happier than any man I know. Happy to be married to the most wonderful woman I've ever met.

I don't know what will happen in the next ten years. I don't know where our journey will take us. I don't know what challenges or surprises or adventures or marvels await us. But I do know one thing.

I know that love is real, and I believe in it because of her. These ten years she has shown me what love is. I will love her as strongly and happily as that day ten years ago for the next ten years and beyond.

Happy Anniversary to my wife, the love of my life.

Taken for a Ride

This post is about scams.

No, I was not scammed, but I was taken on a ridealong. This serves as my warning. A public service announcement, if you will.


This past Memorial Day, as we were enjoying lunch with my parents, they got a call from Publisher's Clearing House! Mom answered the phone and quickly passed it off to Dad for him to tell the person on the other line they weren't interested in whatever he was trying to sell. But after years of sending in those postcards with the scratch-offs and stickers, Dad was excited at the prospect of a $750,000 prize. He listened to the pitch, reluctant to believe it, but wanting to be convinced it was legit.

The guy on the phone told him there was a driver about 45 minutes from his house with a certified check, and needed Dad to confirm he was himself by fulfilling a task at the service desk at Wal-Mart, keeping him on the line the entire time. Once there the scammer instructed him to purchase a "Green-Dot Moneypak Paper Card" for $500. If you're not familiar with the Green-Dot card, it basically works like a prepaid debit card. You buy it with cash, and then can use the 14 digit scratch-off number from the back of the card to pay for things online. They can be used for things like reloading a Pay-Pal account, or to pay phone or utility bills.

Wanting to be a sounding board for him (and secretly hoping it was legit myself, cause I know my dad is a very generous man and would share the wealth) I volunteered to ride along as he drove to the store, not knowing he would be asked to lay down his hard earned money. Once there, we explained the request to our customer service desk worker who voiced her concern about the affair and advised he not make the purchase.

But that payday was ever so enticing. And the man was still on the phone. This guy was a smooth talker as he just kept on working it. Saying it was imperative Dad keep his winnings confidential until the prize check was awarded and that the driver could not come to his door until he had that 14 digit claim code in hand. He suggested he go to his ATM and get cash, then go to a different store to purchase the card. The upside was just too good. $750,000 was on the line. Seven Hundred and Fifty Thousand dollars. Three quarters of a million bucks. Through this, we knew all it could take to rake it in, even if he bought the card was to never give them the code should they ask for it, until he had cash in hand.

We never did buy the card. the charade had finally gone on long enough, the offer was just too good. And, Google is our friend. One quick search on the PCH site revealed the true nature of the scam, and we were able to walk away. Told the guy finally it wasn't going to work and wished him luck in his future illegal endeavers. See, that Green-Dot card is like cash for a thief. With that number from the back, he or his associates can transfer that $500 to another debit card before Dad would be able to even get anywhere to do it himself. We never got to the point where he was asked for the number, but its clear that it was the endgame.

So, how do you protect yourself or your parents or your kids from scams like this? The MoneyPak card has a warning on the back of it to treat it like money and state they are not responsible for any money you may lose. First thing to do is remember that your money is your money, and you should never have to spend money to win money. That is not a sweepstakes, its called gambling. The rest I think is best expressed in a monologue from the made-for-tv movie... ah, who am I kidding, lets do a list.

1. Never give out any personal information over the phone or online. A legit business will never ask you to confirm your password or account number.

2. .....

Nope, that pretty much sums it up. Never give out your personal information to anyone, especially if you did not initiate the conversation. Think about your finances and how hard you've worked to keep them above water, how hard you've worked to earn your money, how much your family depends on you to make smart decisions about your wealth. Think about your retirement, or your grandkids upcoming birthday. These are the things that matter, not the $750,000 you could have won at random. Don't be played the fool. You'll feel less the fool for missing out on a potential prizefall than you will for getting taken for a ride.