Stuff My Wife Says VII

"Who wants to do something gross? You get to play with water!"


I never would have thought of this, but leave it to my wife to get creative in the parenting department. We were at that point where we absolutely had to clean out the fridge. New products were moving in, old stuff had to go. Of course, there are expired salad dressings and nearly empty salsa jars, and all of it has to get cleaned out so we can be a responsible 21st century family and recycle the bottles.

Stuff My Wife Says VI

Kate: You look terrible, have you taken anything?

Me: For what?

Kate: I don't know.

This is one of those conversations that says a lot about a relationship without actually saying a thing about it.

Think about it, I was obviously sick with something, but my wife didn't know what.

Stuff My Wife Says V

"I don't want to kiss you."


This is a little deceiving, Kate likes kissing me. Its just during November that she frowns over the idea of it.

But if we're OK, and she still likes me 11 months of the year, what's so special about November that she would have such strong feelings against kissing? Well, I'm glad you asked. November is the one month of the year that I grow a mustache. It's not a good mustache. She would probably tell you it's actually kind of sad. But I do it every November, and have for the last three years. She puts up with it though, for these four weeks every year, because its for a good cause.

Stuff My Wife Says IV

"He's going to have your sense of humor. Please wait to introduce him to Monty Python"


Never have I been so proud!

Stuff My Wife Says III

"I pulled a you."

Where'd he go, I can't find my son!

I'm a guy, so you know... I can never find anything. Its one of my gender's most endearing traits. (Of course, we just do it to make our wifes feel more useful.) Just yesterday I had gone to the store looking for a birthday gift for Godzilla, but left not able to find the item I was looking for. So, today Kate went in and found it right away. It was right where she told me it would be, and where I had been looking in vain. Then she went to look for soap, and could not find it for the life of her. Only when she talked to an employee did she find it... right where she had been looking.

Stuff My Wife Says II

"Oh yea, and I'm pregnant."

Wait, what? I thought we were done. Afterall, kid2 is 4 and will be 5 by the time january comes around. Kid1 is 8 (will be 9). Who knew that after all this time, we'd have another one?

Kate had gone to the doctor for a routine visit, and when I picked her up after the appointment, started with something about needing to pick up a prescription. I think I asked her if everything else was ok and she came back with that.

Talk about burying the lead.

To be honest, I'm excited as can be. I love the idea of having a third child. For a long time, I think our family has been missing something. But for an equally long time, I haven't felt like we were ready to have another child. And now here we are. Ready or not.

Oh yea, and happy Mother's Day!

Stuff my wife says

"Do you want me to get the door?"

I'm carrying too many bags in from the car. "No thanks, I'm good!"

I do the old pinkie on the door handle / foot to hold the door / hop through the doorway move, only to have it fail on me. Twice.

"You know, you could have asked for help any time there"

I have a habit of taking on too much. Shocker, right?
The thing is, I think I can multi-task.
I can't.
No man can.
Fact.

I couldn't have asked her for help though, cause as we all know, that would be me admitting I couldn't do it. And if there is one thing men are incapable of, its admitting they need help.

That, and multi-tasking.