Thursday, February 13, 2014

80s Money

80's Love Money

Godzilla: "In the old 80s, they had money that could buy love. It had hearts on it!"

That's right, Godzilla continues to amaze me with little known facts from the 80s. This came after listening to the Beatles sing "Can't Buy Me Love" on the way to school one morning.
I don't actually remember any love money from the 80s, but then again I was busy playing with
ninjas and soldiers and superheroes, so I wouldn't have come across much "80s love money". The bigger question you probably have though, is what kind of love could you buy? And how much would different loves cost?

Well, I'm here to break it down for you. 

  • Parental love, costs $241,080 love bucks in irregular installments stretched over a 20 year period.
  • Romantic love costs 3 months love bucks salary (appx. $5,229 on average), renewable every year at a 3% increase. 
  • Bromance costs $20 love bucks and a bottle of beer.
  • Infatuation can run you anywhere from a single hourly rate to a lifetime of prescription drug costs, to hefty fines and legal fees so it's not easy to put a love money number on this. Estimates range from $100-50K + up to 20 years.

Its not my job to tell you which of these is the best value. I'm only here to provide you with the figures, and you get to decide what love is worth. When making your decision, also keep in mind that with Parental love, that 250K culminates with a free upgrade to Grandparental love, which I'm told is pretty good. Deciding to go with Romantic Love, will not exclude you from also purchasing Parental Love, but purchasing it and Infatuation together can cause the price to spike on both. Bromance is of course the simplest of the four, with little investment required, and good times always guaranteed.

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