Stuff My Kids Say XIV

"I have two hypothesiseses (that one kind of got away from him) about my sister:

1. She will turn into a really nice person who is not annoying and likes me.

- or -

2. She will be more annoying and ignore me even more than she already does."

     - Godzilla, age 6.



Somehow, even at the age of six, this kid summed up the relationship he'll have with his sister over next 20 years pretty expertly. Of course, option two will come well before option one, but eventually she'll get there. I think most of us do. Sometimes it amazes me, the clarity of youth.

Wonder Woman Duct Tape Boots

My daughter has wanted to dress up as Wonder Woman for Halloween for years. Somehow though, we have never gotten her the costume to do it. She has had Supergirl outfits, every princess dress ever, capes, crowns, and magic wands, but every time we approach October, her focus drifts off of Wonder Woman, and she latches onto another costume. As a result, we've just never made her Amazonian dreams come true.

Until this year.

We nearly got sidetracked this fall too, as it has been the year of the dragon for her. Witches, Red Riding Hood, princess', and butterflies I could do, but constructing a dragon costume on a shoestring budget was not going to happen. Ultimately, we found this great Wonder Woman nightgown to use as the base of her costume, she had a crown already from a cereal box DC promotion earlier this year. All we were missing was the boots.

Do a quick search for red leather knee-high boots in women's size 9. I can wait (just don't lose this page!) My results came back with anywhere from $35 - $100! That kind of goes against the idea of costuming on a budget. So naturally, I turned to Pinterest. What? We might not be as well represented, but dads can use Pinterest too. One post turned up again and again on making duct tape boots, and that served as the foundation for Nat's footwear. However, the tutorial was for Musketeer boots, which had a little different styling than Wonder Woman, so I had to make some adjustments.


At their base, you'll need a pair of shoes, a pair of old tall socks, colored duct tape, and optional card stock to help form the leg/peak on your Wonder Woman boots.

Oh Captain, My Captain

I think it's confession time.

We have a bit of a superhero problem in this house.

It's not uncommon for us to be invaded by Superman, the Flash, random Avengers, Wonder Woman, etc. As a result, our closet has no shortage of costumes for the kids to dress up in (and me from time to time, if we're being honest). The kids have all the action figures, we've seen all the shows (Netflix has proven invaluable with all the cartoons the kids have had access to.) Free Comic Book Day is an annual outing, both the older kids have their favorites. Santa would in fact get hate mail from our address if he didn't provide a little superhero fix on December 25th.

I don't think there is anything wrong with our obsession, mind you. I love the idea of superheroes. They show us a better version of ourselves. They provide an example to aspire to, even if we will never be able to fly or shoot webs from our wrists, or compel the truth from someone by throwing a lasso around them. They vanquish evil, stand up for the weak, and affect change in those around them.

So, we play dress up. We imagine. We let the worlds of Marvel and the DC universe overtake our living room. And soon, the two boys and their heroes will be moving into the same bedroom. A room overrun with mutants and aliens and defenders of truth and justice is exactly what Godzilla wants, and exactly what he wants to share with his baby brother.

A superhero themed room though needs superheroes to fill the walls, so who should go up first, but the first of them all. Action Comics #1 staring Godzilla as the Man of Steel. Maybe you remember it, maybe you don't (go ahead, take a look, he makes a good Superman). The second thing will be the other iconic American hero, Captain America. And what more iconic image of Cap is there than the cover Jack Kirby and Stan Lee put together after JFK's assassination. While this cover may not be as recognizable as AC1, It is one of Marvel's most important.  It was a story of a man out of time who represented the strength of democracy and perseverance. It showed that we can overcome our trials based on our will power and conviction, and that is a message I want my kids to learn. Who wouldn't want to embody such a message? Combine Captain America with Iron Man, Thor, Ant Man, and Wasp, and you have the perfect template to base another anchor to the boy's room.

Stuff My Kids Say XIII

"In 10 or 12 seconds or minutes they'll be thawed."
     - Godzilla, age 5.

The poor kid is just waiting for a frozen sandwich to thaw, but he can't quite work out the math of how time works. We'll be starting kindergarten in a manner of weeks, and it looks like Kate and I have some work to do! Time can be a tricky thing though, especially when as parents we're quick to say "You have five minutes left" and then promptly forget to set a timer. Those five minutes might take 30 one day and two the next, as our only time-keeper is how badly we want the activity to either end or continue.

Perhaps he's just embracing his inner Doctor Who, and time, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint is more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.

Either way, it makes a difference if it's minutes or seconds, and it's about time we helped him work that out!

Breakfast and Cartoons

I like drawing.

My kids like to eat.

So, it wasn't a huge leap for me to connect the two.

The genius of this project however, is that beyond drawing, I like to sleep.

Once the kids were old enough that I could trust them to eat unsupervised, I started sketching some of their favorite cartoon characters on post-it notes. I picked ones which each of them individually liked more than the other, so there would be no confusion. I then stuck them to Correlle lids and filled two bowls with some of their favorite cereal. Place a cup of milk for each of them in the fridge, and I found myself an extra half hour of sleep.

The early ones were simple pencil sketches with a single highlight color.

I branched out a bit in the next ones, adding more color, perhaps refining the lines with ink, but the trick was to really leave the process organic, as the original idea was to give myself a little bit of a break.

The Cats in the Cradle

I grew up in a house of song. My parents would sing to me and my brothers. We sang at family reunions. We sang at church. We sang in the shower, and yes, we even sang on car trips.

When it comes to the most memorable songs from my childhood though, they are all sung in my dad's voice.

Songs from his youth at summer camp. Songs by classic rockers and singer-songwriters. Songs straight from the hymnals. And of course, among those songs was Harry Chapin's classic "Cats in the Cradle". It's a song that I cherished as a kid, because what good father's son doesn't want to "be like him"?

Stuff My Wife Says VII

"Who wants to do something gross? You get to play with water!"


I never would have thought of this, but leave it to my wife to get creative in the parenting department. We were at that point where we absolutely had to clean out the fridge. New products were moving in, old stuff had to go. Of course, there are expired salad dressings and nearly empty salsa jars, and all of it has to get cleaned out so we can be a responsible 21st century family and recycle the bottles.

Why stand by when you should be diving in?

Sometimes I'm reminded of just how fast life goes by.

Today I can look out my front window and watch my children play. They are 9 and 5, but I don't remember when they got so old. Wasn't it just yesterday that she was 4-years-old and crying because she just found out that her little brother was a boy? Wasn't it just this morning when he was 1, and so proud to have found my power drill? When did she grow to big to sit on my lap, and when did he lose that innocent baby smile?

Before I know it, she will be getting her first job, going off to college, falling in love, bringing my grand kids over to see me. He, likewise, will soon be driving, chasing his own dreams, finding his own family, and asking for my help to roof his own house.

I can't miss this time. The spaces in between the now and the then. All the little moments that make up our lives. So often, it is those little moments that have the biggest impact. And what if I wasn't around for them? What if their mom wasn't? 

The trick lies in making the most of every moment you have, right now. 

There are families who know they don't have decades ahead of them to get their fill of moments. There are good moms, there are great dads, there are amazing kids who's lives have been impacted, shortened, who have to embrace the moments they have now. I pray I am never in that situation. 

But what if I was? What would I do? How would I handle the time I had? Could I do it on my own?

What if I couldn't go it alone? Could I ask for help?

Could you?

And if we did, who would step up out of the shadows to help? Who would break through the bystander barrier and give of themselves, give of their resources, their compassion, their time, their money? 

What if someone asked me to do the same for them?

There's a guy I know, in fact he's quite notorious in Dad Blogging circles, and he is facing this future, one where the moments are numbered. His name is Oren Miller. He has a wife and kids. A house. A job. Friends. Loved ones. A ton of blogging dads around the world. And cancer. 

I won't tell his whole story here, as it is better told in his own words and by those closest to him, but his is a story that breaks your heart. He is a man who inspires. This is a chance to rise to the question: what can we do?

Some of the people who Oren has touched have found a way to give back. Send his family on a vacation, put some money aside for the future, help him make the most of the moments they have together. What can you do?

https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/ytv4/give-back-to-oren

When Reading Spreads Like "Wings of Fire"

I've talked before about how much Nat enjoys reading, but this last year at school, something amazing happened. Reading actually opened doors for her.

She has absolutely fallen in love with fantasy novels. (For some good options, check out her list!) One of the most recent addictions is a series called "Wings of Fire" by Tui T. Sutherland. The series includes five books written for young readers which profile five dragons of prophecy, destined to end a generation's old war. The dragons are engaging and the story compelling. So much so, that when Nat took the first book to school, the passion for the story spread like wildfire. First one friend borrowed the first book, then another, and another and another... Soon, she took in the second book, only for that one to begin making the rounds as well.

The Neverending Roof

When you own a house, you own everything that comes with it, and that includes leaky roofs. After putting it off for as long as we possibly could, it was time to bite the bullet and install a new roof. Unfortunately, having someone else install a new roof on your house is expensive, and my budget couldn't quite cover it this year. Obviously, there is another option, but after two weeks, it is one I would never suggest anyone take: DIY.

I'm not saying it can't be done. I'm simply saying that your old body will regret ever taking on such a challenge. My knees always hurt to begin with, but after spending 8-12 hours on a roof, I'm amazed when they show up still attached. The same thing goes for my back, because there is no way one can install a new roof without doing a significant amount of bending over.

Stuff My Kids Say XII

Godzilla: "Dad told me 'boys are supposed to be dirty' and I memorized it!"

You don't get any more stereotypical than this. It would seem that I told Godzilla recently that boys get dirty. Then I left him at home with his sister and mom one hot afternoon to play with his squirt gun, and the result should have been expected.

The little scoundrel took the hose and made a mud puddle, then proceeded to slather himself in all the mud he could muster. When it was time to come in, this is the sight that greeted my wife at the front door!

What do you do with this?

Girl on the Run

After weeks of training, Nat finally ran her first 5K!

It all started when she signed up for an after-school program called "Girls on the Run." GOTR is a national program focused on developing positive life skills through physical activity and interactive lessons, and I had no clue about the program until they came to her school.

What a blessing it has been. From the day she first heard about it she got excited to run, and it caught me completely off-guard. I saw the flyer she brought home and didn't think she would be interested. After all, this is the girl who isn't really into riding her bike, the girl who scoffs at going outside any day when the temperature is over 70, the girl who is perfectly content to lay around the house with headphones on and read a book.

But now, she's a runner. She's taking after her dad.

Action Added: How My Kid Became Superman

Anyone can dress-up as Superman, but why stop at dressing like this:

When you can actually put yourself into the world of your hero?

Sure, it takes a little more work, but I think the kid is worth it.

Please Sir, May I Have Some Mower?

Like most people who live in the suburbs, I have a house which has a yard which needs to be mowed periodically. This would normally not be a problem, as those of us with lawns to mow usually own lawn mowers. Mine however bit the dust two summers ago.

I tried to make it work through last summer. I did all the responsible lawn-mower-owner things like replacing the blade, sparkplug, and filter. I changed the oil, took apart and reassembled the carburetor, and replaced fuel lines. Still, I ended up just fighting with it for hours at a time and every attempt at clipping my grass culminated in knocking on the neighbor's door and borrowing their mower. Yet again.

Unscheduled Sleep Positions VIII

This is a blast from the past for me, as Godzilla who is now 5 was just 3(?) here. It's nice to go back through my archives and know that I have taken pictures of our second child, even if the third is currently getting the shaft. 

This kid has always been the one to sleep when, where, and how he wanted. Obviously, our train conductor hit his hours limit and needed take a break for a while, but the hands behind the head, legs up tell me he really had worn himself out and this was not just a pass out where I fall, rather he made a conscious decision to pass out here, in this spot.

Dad's Book of Awesome

I like to get my hands dirty with my kids, and as such, I'm always on the lookout for new things to do. The Internets offer a lot of options, but many of them are "crafting" or stuff you can color, cut, and paste, which isn't always what I'm looking for. Enter "Dad's Book of Awesome Science Experiments" by Mike Adamick. This book is so much more than the random Pinterest finds, and each science experiment included comes with perspective. It's not just a "how to," but a "how, when, and why to." 

Mike is funny and engaging. From taking corners a little too fast in your car, to blowing up a balloon with a banana to taking your pulse with a marshmallow, he presents chemistry, physics and other sciencey properties in a highly accessible way. This book is really about opening your children's eyes to the science all around them, and finding teaching moments in every day life. You can stumble through these things on your own, or you can get a little help from a guy who's been there before, and wrote the book on it.

Stuff My Kids Say XI

Godzilla: "You just don't get kids. You don't get us... No. You. Don't..."

Seems I got told, though I think this will hurt more when he's 15 and saying the same.

However, it really begs the question, what is it I don't get? There is a lot of things that change from the time you are 5 to the time you are 35, but I didn't think I had lost touch just yet! Not only that, but while my parents had "My Generation", my generation had "Parents Just Don't Understand". So... you know... I get it.

Another Spring; Another Challenge

If I may be so bold as to borrow a famous line:

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
That somewhere is right here - today I got my bike back out.

Up until Monday, my bike still hung from the ceiling of the garage where I put it away last October. My bike shorts (not spandex shorts, I'm not that into biking, but regular athletic shorts) still rested in my drawer. My helmet remained on its hook, waiting to be used again.

But on Monday they had their chance.

For the first time this year, the sun came out and gave us a 60 degree day. For the first time in 2014 I mounted my bike, earbuds blasting music by The Baseball Project, and set off for a ride. And as I rode, it struck me that it was opening day. Opening Day 2014 and I was setting out for my first ride since the last game of last years World Series in October. I won't get into how depressing that could be that winter lasts five solid months here. I won't mention how frustrating it is that I haven't worked out since the RedSox won their last game.

Instead, I moved on to figure out how I can re-motivate, and I didn't have to look far.


Opening Day.

World Series.

Lets play too.


So, I'm challenging myself (and you, if you think you can) to put in 162 workouts in the next 214 days.

162 workouts between the first pitch in March and the last out in October.

Perhaps this was not the best thought out challenge, because 162 in 214 comes out to about five workouts a week. But while I'm taking a hard stance on the number, I'm playing it cool with the type.

So take a bike ride. Go on a run. Walk around the block. Even pull the kids in the wagon up the block 20 times. Whatever it is, just get out and get moving.

Then head over to Daily Mile and record it.

See how you do.

I dare you.

Becoming Christopher Nolan

With all the buzz over the Lego Movie out right now, how would you like to make your own Lego movie? A year or two ago, I downloaded an app called "Lego Movie Maker," and ever since, my kids and I have been having fun making stop motion movies whenever the mood strikes.

You see, they're really into playing with my iPod.

And being creative with Lego bricks.

But mostly they're into playing with my iPod.

In the Time of "Leopardchauns" - and Other Mythical Stories

Godzilla: "Dad, Leprechauns are just a myth...

They lived long ago but now they're just a myth. They lived in the time of cavemen and they were animals...

They were as fast as leopards, and that's why they're called leopardchauns...

Do you want to know how they died? There was a big earthquake..."

And that is where I could no longer keep up, as he started stringing his thoughts together much faster. I would record him telling his tale if he weren't so camera shy, but as soon as I pull it out - no matter how stealthily - he clams up and I lose the story altogether. So, I take to jotting them down like this, catching what I can, or trying to remember exactly how he said it all once he's wrapped it up.

What really struck me about this story was the panic that set in when he first told me that leprechauns were merely mythical. I thought we were on the verge of having the Santa talk. Godzilla is five, and we haven't even had doubts or questions about it yet, and I thought if he had the leprechaun thing figured out, he might connect the dots.

the love letter

Nat received a love letter at school last week.

She opened it, read the first line, and felt like she might throw up, so she folded it up and didn't finish reading it.

When she showed the letter to her teacher (who we just love by the way, but that's another story for another time) she read it, told Nat that she might get sick as well, folded it up and threw it away.

Fourth grade is about the time where you expect these things to start happening.

Nat is obviously not ready for it - I know it won't be long however before she is. But where she is right now is just fine. I don't want her to rush into anything she's not ready for, and there is no reason for a 9-year-old to need a love interest.

One day, in the not too distant future, she'll have a boyfriend, and when that day arrives, she may feel like throwing up again. Such is the way of young love. And on that day, I hope she shares it with me, because I remember young love, and it's the start of a journey she's going to love some days and hate others. Nothing hurts like a breakup, and nothing turns your stomach in knots like a new romance, and Kate and I want to be there for her for both.

There is, it would seem, lots of getting sick when love is on the board.

Ads Even Zach Rosenberg Could be Proud of

Advertising has been focusing on moms for ages. This means that men in general and dads in particular are consistently put down by advertisers, but there is one man, Zach Rosenberg who has decided to make it his mission to level the playing field. At www.8bitdad.com, Zach and his partners in old-school gaming graphic themed website running bring attention to the ads we watch every day, in an attempt to open our eyes to the stereotypes portrayed right before our eyes.

From analyzing dadvertising in the Super Bowl, to his year-end review, Zach Rosenberg is fighting the good fight to show that dads too can be respected on screen. There are things dads are doing every day in real life, things that should be respected and praised. We are not all Ray Romano's bumbling, incompetent character from "Everybody Loves Raymond."



So the next time you see a dad in an ad, ask yourself how accurate that stereotype is. I'm hoping what you see is a positive message, and even more so, I'm hoping that reflects the dads you see off-screen as well!

Stuff My Kids Say X

Godzilla: "Dad, I know how the dinosaurs died. All the pterodactyls got together and used their beaks to crack the earth's crust. When it cracked, it made volcanoes..."

The story continued for neigh on 20 minutes, waxing poetic about Brontosaur, Mega Crocs, and Tyrannosaurus Rex. We cover all grounds, from archaeologists to oceanographers, and prehistoric sharks evolving into today's great whites. All of it is laced in fact, all of it incredibly detailed, if not fantastical. And he is passionate in his story-telling. He speaks with the authority of someone four, maybe five times his age. And I am in awe from start to finish. When he summarily rejected my theory that flying dinosaurs probably couldn't crack through the earth's crust, I knew he meant business.

The One Where my Daughter Starts to Breastfeed

I saw my 9 year old "breastfeeding" over the weekend, and I nearly broke down in tears. 

Please don't judge me just yet, its not what you think.

I fully support breastfeeding. I have read the pamphlets, watched the videos, talked with the doctors, and helped my wife as she has nursed each of our babies. Breastfeeding is simply the best, most natural way for babies to feed. It provides lots of benefits for both mom and baby. I want my children to reap the benefits of breast feeding, and I want them as they grow to see it as a natural healthy part of the care of a baby.

So, lets discuss the events of the weekend. I recognize that there are two pars o this story: my daughters actions, and my reaction. Lets start with her actions, with a little background.

80s Money

80's Love Money

Godzilla: "In the old 80s, they had money that could buy love. It had hearts on it!"

That's right, Godzilla continues to amaze me with little known facts from the 80s. This came after listening to the Beatles sing "Can't Buy Me Love" on the way to school one morning.

Stuff My Wife Says VI

Kate: You look terrible, have you taken anything?

Me: For what?

Kate: I don't know.

This is one of those conversations that says a lot about a relationship without actually saying a thing about it.

Think about it, I was obviously sick with something, but my wife didn't know what.

We're Freezing, or Rather, Frozen

We have been slammed with snow this winter, and I'm done with it. 76 inches is just too much! Nat however has decided that this is just the kind of weather she needs, as apparently, she is Elsa from Disney's movie "Frozen." It is amazing to see her enthusiasm over singing this song and playing in the snow. Aah, the joys of youth! Even if Disney weren't putting out a sing-a-long version (check your local theater listings!) we'd (I mean she'd) be singing this song around the house nonstop. So, without further adieu, I present my very own Snow Queen in "Downey's Frozen".

So, You Say You Want a Revolution in the Pink Aisle.

The days of playing with the toys our fathers carved or our mothers sewed for us are a distant memory. In their place has grown: THE TOY STORE! And in this toy store, there are many aisles full of toys. There are every kind of toy: balls and dolls, building and baking, science and imagination. It is a marvelous place that kids, as well as parents can lose themselves in.

Also in this magical land of entertainment and endless joy is controversy, because that's what we do. It's not good enough for there to be toys, but there are toys for girls and then, there are toys for boys. This separation and the controversy around it has become known as the fight for the Pink Aisle.

It's Chili Out there

It's Sunday, and while that usually means you won't find me posting to the blog, it's also SuperBowl Sunday, and that makes today special. So, as a treat, here's my tried and true recipee for Slow Cooker Chili. It's not too spicy, so you can make the kids try it (we add a little ketchup, crackers, and cheese at the end to their bowls). Top it however you like, but we go traditional with saltines and sharp cheddar. Enjoy!

In the Midnight Hour

I lay in bed, kindled from my slumber by what I do not know, but the room is still dark. I can feel my wife next to me, hear her breathe as she rests from the long day before and for the the long day ahead. I listen for some indication as to the cause of this mid-night moment of wakefulness. The dog lay panting in her bed, the baby quiet in his. I allow my eyes to close again, drifting back to the world of dreams and peace. There will be enough clamor in the morning, I need not go searching for it tonight. For with the sun comes the affairs of the day; breakfast and bus and carpool and diapers and questions and answers and not a minute to sit back and close my eyes. My eyes are too heavy anyway to even check the time. I don't want to know. Knowing brings responsibility and breaks the magic of the night, calling to mind the time I have left, or affirming how little sleep I've so far gathered.

So for now, I do that luxury which I will not be afforded in the morning. For now I close my eyes to the night. For now I embrace the peace and the darkness, for I know the night is short, and sleep my friend.

Window Drawing.

Can you draw? I don't know why I'd ask this question, as the answer is really quite irrelevant. The better question would be: Do you have windows in your house?

If you answered "No" (to the second question, remember the first one is moot), I'm sorry, there is nothing more I can do for you.

If you answered yes, good, we're off to a great start. Unlike your windowless loser counterparts, we can move on with this post. You see, it doesn't matter if you can draw to do this fun thing with your kids, you just need something to draw on.

Take a Look, Its in a Book

A tale of wizards and dragons. A quest. Brave adventurers in a strange land. No, I'm not talking about the latest Terry Goodkind novel, rather my 9-year-old's bookshelf.

I grew up on books like the Chronicles of Narnia, A Wrinkle in Time, and The Phantom Tollbooth, eventually graduating to works by Bradbury, Orwell, Burroughs, Tolkien, Eddings, Hobb, and McCaffrey, among others. The literary world is full of all kinds of stories; tales of love and romance, action and adventure, suspense and mystery. Each genre has it's foundations, each has it's addictive elements; the ability to draw a reader in and immerse them into the characters and setting and feelings of the story. That, after all, is the essence of storytelling.

The Sherman Identity: Why Sportsmanship Matters

As a father, it's my job to set an example for my kids on how to behave. I take that responsibility seriously. But I am not the only example they have. We watch TV in our home. We listen to music. And yes, we watch sports. I have already begun to indoctrinate my kids into liking my teams (no thanks to other family members who have brought the White Sox in though). When we watch games, be they baseball, football or the Olympics, I talk with them about the rules, and how the participants are observing them. Why it's important to play by the rules, and the sportsmanship involved in each game.

When Life Gives You Snow, Make Ice Cream

The Polar Vortex came through town last week and we had snow. Lots of snow (12 inches on top of the 10 on the ground already). We also had freezing temperatures (-16 and wind chills in the negative 40s!) Then we had extra days off school for it. As if we weren't going crazy from two weeks off of school for Christmas break already! So, I found myself with two kids with severe cabin fever and asking myself what do I do with them! Then a little piece of my childhood came back to me. How's the saying go: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"? Well, no lemons, but the spirit of that saying rang true with all this snow on the ground, we made snow ice cream.

Stuff My Kids Say IX

Godzilla: "Dad, I've been trying to be like you all year! And I finally did it!"

I should be proud that my boy wants to be like me, but this declaration was not over something to be proud of.

I let my childhood affect my parenting...

Oh the Horror! The Carnage! The Vomit!

Parenting begins and ends with vomit.




Let me start again:


This post is brought to you by Lysol Disinfectant Spray, and Clorox! (not really, I'm handing this one out pro bono, unless you have control of the checkbook at Lysol or Clorox, then feel free to contact me)




I love my children, and they love me. But I love them a whole lot more.

How do I know, you ask? Well, for starters, they have never let me puke on them. Not once!